You ever wake in the night to loud rustling noises outside your tent, bolt to your car, hide inside until dawn, only to discover it wasn’t a Grizzly, just dew dripping off the bushes?
Isn’t it fun to spend a day driving to the campsite, and all you want to do is chill out and drink a beer, but instead you have to build shelter like a cast member on Survivor?
But before you set up the tent you need to choose a semi-level piece of ground. Sweep away all the rocks you want and throw down an inflatable mattress. You’ll still end up with a sharp boulder in your back, princess and the pea style.
Welcome to the joy of tent camping, where you spend money to live like a homeless person.
Be honest, the only reason most of us are still tent camping is because we don’t want any whussy jokes from our buddies.
Who says 5th wheel camping isn’t real camping? With its cherry wood interior, this 2008 Chateau is more natural than any nylon-polyester composite tent flap.
You want to go natural? Try tangling with wild animals. Doesn’t get more natural than that.
When you wrap yourself in a sleeping bag, you’re just a human burrito. Much like those mesh covers they place over BBQ food platters, a tent just keeps flies off the meat. The bears will thank you.
Unlike a tent, the Chateau has a real door with a lock. The most you can secure a tent is by zip-tying the zipper tabs together. And the raccoons will still find a way in.
If you forget the rain fly, chances of rain go up 99%. That’s a basic law of physics.
If you go tent camping with multiple people, you gotta rig a tarp up for everyone to stand under not if, but when, it rains. How fun is it to watch all that rain collect in the middle of the tarp?
Congratulations on the grand opening of your mosquito waterpark.
The Chateau comes with a leak proof roof and enough floor space for you and all those poor tent city refugees when the weather turns foul.
And with the cold weather package, the Chateau stays cozy through the wintry nights. Or you could “rough it” outside like your lumberjack buddies. All it takes is one chilly black widow crawling in their sleeping bag to warm its footsies and they’ll be banging on your door.
Night-pooping in the woods is the most vulnerable thing a man can do. Even if the campground has facilities, there could be a murderer hiding in there, or worse, shockingly cold toilet seats.
The Chateau boasts a temp-controlled bathroom and shower with endless privacy and hot water. No more ice throne for you. (Ain’t that right Rick?)
While your buddies are hanging their food in a tree a hundred feet out to keep the bears away, you can safely keep your food within arms reach. The full-sized kitchen fits every pot, pan, spice, and snack your little wussy heart desires. The oversized fridge holds more beer than any ice chest.
Trying to shove a tent back in the bag is like trying to stuff toothpaste back in the tube. Might be easier if your back wasn’t so stiff from sleeping on the ground all week.
No back pain with the Chateau. All you need to do is start the truck and drive off.
No more back pain, no more fighting off hordes of hungry raccoons, and no more freezing nights. Swing by and pick up the Chateau. Like we said, it’s as easy as starting the truck and driving off.