If there’s one thing that introverts and wanted criminals have in common, it’s knowing the importance of an escape hatch.
When you need a quick getaway, you’ve gotta have an exit plan, a quiet place, and an escape hatch to set you free. This 2018 Starcraft has all three.
The Exit Plan:
This trailer is game to go anytime you are. New aluminum rims and painted skirt, she’s ready to step out in style. Extend your exit plan and go as remote and off-the-grid as your introverted/wanted-criminal heart desires thanks to a factory solar hookup. Go boondocking and recharge your batteries, literally and mentally. Let it all blow over.
The Quiet Place:
If you’re a baby marsupial, then this trailer comes with a selection of quiet-place pouches for you to curl up, you cute little wallaby.
Bunk beds? More like funk beds. Like your regular order at Timmy’s, these bunk beds are a double-double. Double-wide and double-comfy. Triple that double by hanging a curtain to achieve maximum blanket-fort privacy force-field effectiveness.
Need another private space, perhaps a little quieter? This trailer has so much storage you could hide a body. Your body. And snacks. Snacks you hid in there ahead of time. Because you knew this day would come.
If you’re like most people and use your storage for things that are not bodies, hop in the big-man shower and shut the door to create your own private oasis. The Starcraft has a shower so spacious you could work a regulation-size hula-hoop in there (we ran the numbers.) Shower hula is the next big thing, and when it blows up, remember, you heard it here first.
And when you’re all hooped-out, retire to the Queen’s chambers in the bulkhead. Go full starfish on your Queen-sized bed and feel free to tell anybody who knocks on the privacy screen that you’re on a break from reality and are not to be bothered.
When you’re not changing panic-room-shells like an antisocial hermit crab, and when all them campground Kumbaya-ers have finally got the hint and made their exit, you’re free to poke your head out and roam about the rest of your domain. The Great Hall. Where family-sized dining room meets full-sized kitchen meets couch-into-bed living room meets gym.
The Starcraft has so much room, there’s no need to exercise out in public, where all the... public is. You’ll enjoy the inside space you need to finally perfect that ribbon dance routine you’ve been working on. (We’ve seen the tapes.)
The Escape Hatch:
We’ve all pulled into a campground, scouted the perfect spot, and set up our compound with full intention of getting some alone time. And then like magic, the extrovert convention comes to town and opens up shop right next door. They burst out like a happy pack of golden retrievers, and before you know it, you’re part of the family.
If they manage to work their way inside your fortress of solitude, fear not. The Starcraft includes not one but two outside doors. One for a grand entrance, and one for a quiet exit. This is the Escape Hatch.
The escape hatch is located just on the other side of the bathroom door. So when the time comes for you to make a clean getaway, just excuse yourself to the John, slip out the back Jack, and set yourself free.
Whether you’re an introvert, a wanted criminal, or somewhere in between (aren’t we all?) the 2018 Starcraft is your exit plan, your quiet place, and your escape hatch. All you need to do is come get it. (Ain’t that right, Rick?)
Bon voyage, and don’t get caught!