Do your kids think you’re uncool?
Do they not realize how good they have it?
Have they never walked back and forth to school, in the snow, uphill both ways, like you did? Do you want to lean into your uncoolness, just to embarrass them?
Then give your spawn a lesson in cool with three magic words: Family road trip.
Out of the house and into the wilderness for some distraction-free quality time.
Just when they thought it couldn’t be any more humiliating, level up your game by bringing home this delightfully useful Trail Cruiser.
Why this trailer? Because in addition to being an effective tool for messing with your kids, it’s also $24,000 cheaper than it should be due to a minor feature, which we’ll get to shortly.
Now, back to the game.
The Cruiser is proudly unhip. There’s no flatscreen, no Xbox, and no wifi. Anyone under 17 within a one kilometre radius will spontaneously scoff and roll their eyes at the thought of internet-free family time. It sends out a “so lame” echolocation signal, activating their pre-teen cringe receptors.
The super cool bunk beds come with a privacy curtain that you can stand on the other side of and cheekily sing “knock knock!” whenever you think of something “so lit” to do together, like gather firewood.
In a stroke of pure genius, the bathroom is next to the bunk beds, so you can talk to your kid through the door while doing your business. Use that time to teach them morse code. It builds character.
Plenty of storage for fishing tackle when you feel like it’s time they learn to bait a hook. The fully equipped kitchen lets you cook up that fat trout you lovingly forced your kid to gut and fillet (that’s a life skill.)
We all know how teens love hearing about what life was like when you were their age. Enthrall them with tales about how the hottest video game was Crosscountry Canada, where you learned the history of the rutabaga and not to pick up hitchhikers. Watch the blood drain from their mortified faces as you break out the record player and teach them about “real” music.
The Cruiser has its own security system. The soft floor by the entrance makes it almost impossible for teens to sneak out and look for a new family who won’t embarrass them as much.
Nothing gives a teen a coronary quite like misusing the latest slang. Witness their eyes widen as you explain why the floor does what it does: “You see gang, the manufacturer uses a dope technique called vacuum-bonding to fuse all the layers in the walls and flooring to make this bae
lightweight as Mayweather. The floor is soft because the glue between the layers said Bye Felicia! But it doesn’t compromise the structural integrity, and that’s why I saved twenty-four large. Gucci.”
Follow-up with a mic drop like, “This trailer only weighs 4278 pounds, son! That’s as much as a male giraffe. How woke is that?! Yeet!” Don’t forget to dab on them. Their flustered expressions will stay with you forever, like a happy memory.
The slide out has a full sized couch that folds into a bed. Including the queen bed up front, the Cruiser sleeps nine, giving it real family reunion potential.
Your kid is so lucky.
You only have so much time to embarrass your kid before they grow up and discover how cool you actually are. The Cruiser preserves those cringey memories for just a little longer, and helps you make new ones. Feel free to come down and check her out. If you want to have a little fun while you’re here, bring your kids. We’ve got dad jokes and we’re not afraid to use them (ain’t that right Rick?)
2009 Trail Cruiser 30 QBSS
EASY to Tow – 4278 lbs Dry Weight
She’s here, she’s ready, and she’s waiting for you.
All you gotta do is come pick her up. Ain’t that right, Rick?
$15,898 + GST – Financing Available
Fully Bonded & AMVIC Licensed